October is Domestic Violence Awareness month, something near & dear to my heart. Financial abuse is one indicator of an abusive relationship and this can be found anywhere there are people. Thus we become more aware of it, and we act in new & different ways to recover from it and prevent it in the future.
From the organization that doesn't pay on time to the low-balling of honorariums, you've surely seen it all. So have I. I've been paid late, had to request fees actually be paid, been offered insultingly low fees, and have had to chase payments down after work was completed.
In romantic relationships, or even platonic relationships, it's not always our personal money stories that trip us up, but sometimes other people who trip us up (financially) on purpose. It's the roommate who doesn't pay rent on time, the friend who never foots the bill when you take turns paying, the partner or spouse who unfairly distributes the bills, the soon-to-be-ex-spouse who drags out the divorce, resulting in high attorneys' fees. Been there, done that, still have an awesome credit score. Surviving a relationship like this is one thing, recovering from such a relationship is another.
It took me a very long time to drag myself out of one horrific relationship and it's taken me years to get beyond it financially. Luckily, the whole, ongoing process has lead me to some fantastic money habits and has created skills that have let me help other women learn more about money, too.
A quick note: some, but not all, of the links in this post are Affiliate links. That means if you buy a book after clicking the link, I receive a small portion of that purchase, for which I thank you. However if you need to, get the book at the library. Saves a ton. ;-)
And another quick note: I refer to a name with a bleeped-out swear word in it in this post. Just fyi.
1. RUN, do not walk, to a Credit Union.
Like many others, I bank-hopped for a few years. I always ended up at my old Big Bank until I tried to refinance my auto loan…with the same Big Bank. Interest rates had dropped so I asked them to refinance it. Really good credit score, steady payments, I was a good candidate, but they wouldn’t do it.
So I walked. Literally, I went down the street. And I saved over 4% interest on the remainder of my car loan.